Thursday, August 5, 2010

Bludgeon & Skewer's Republican Run Off Picks for Tuesday

It's meddling time folks.

Next Tuesday is your last chance to totally mess up the republican ticket for Governor, Insurance Commissioner and the District 2 PSC race this fall. In an effort to clarify this Libertarian blog's position on these races, the following picks are provided with the following justifications:


After an agonizing couple of minutes, Bludgeon & Skewer must retract their support for Nathan "Stinky" Deal as the republican nominee and instead recommend the readership vote for Karen "Grizzly Size" Handel. Why the flip flop at this late date? Several reasons actually.

-Reason One: While the imagery of our guy, Libertarian John Monds, standing on the stage between two old fat white guys is compelling, the imagery of John Monds standing on the stage between Karen "Grizzly Size" Handel and Roy "King Rat" Barnes is more compelling.

-Reason Two, Nathan Deal has the ability to raise a hell of a lot more money than Karen.

-Reason Three, we'd like to pick off the 15% of the republican base that will not vote for a woman.

-Reason Four, we love negative campaigning and Karen wins that category hands down.

New Slogan: A Vote for Karen on Tuesday Might Get You a Hamburger Today!

Insurance Commissioner

First I'd like to thank the republican party primary voters for not picking Gerry Purcell as it's candidate for this office. I have said in the past and will say again that he's the most dangerous man in republican politics in Georgia and if he was on the ballot I'd just stay home and blog. Fortunately for me, the republican herd ran true to form and picked the two money leaders in the Insurance Commissioner's race which gives my campaign a ghost of a chance at success this fall. To further that glimmer of hope, I stand by my recommendation that the readership turns out Tuesday to cast their ballots for republican Maria Sheffield. Why?

-Reason One, Ralph "Huggy Bear" Hudgens has $8 Million sitting around the house, money is not an issue with this guy.

-Reason Two, if he takes the run off, there will two men and one woman on the ballot so that takes the gender preference advantage away.

-Reason Three, how can I run against the Ox's girl if the Ox's girl ain't on the ballot?

-Reason Four, I like the vitriol that emanantes from Maria's campaign manager, that Ballou chick.

New Slogan: A Vote for Maria Helps the Ox get a Cush Consulting Job!

PSC District 2 Race

We've only posted one prior entry concerning the PSC district 2 race here on Bludgeon & Skewer and you can read that here. In order to prevent two Oxendine acolytes from getting on the ballot, we must recommend republican John Douglas in the run off for PSC District 2. Why?

-Reason one John Douglas is a regular candidate with no ties to the Ox's organization and hence no major expectations of unused OxCash.

-Reason two, John Douglas does not command teen age minions to perform extensive door to door political operations and double bill for their efforts.

-Reason three, Insert your own reason here, two reasons are good enough for us.

So that's the Bludgeon & Skewer recipe for republican disaster this fall folks. It wasn't easy to separate the wheat from the chaff in this years offering from the GOP as there appeared to be nothing but chaff to pick from. Please exercise your duty to the Republic and get off the couch on Tuesday to vote! Keep in mind the abysmally small portion of the republican party that saddled you with these choices will be even smaller for the run off. Your vote on Tuesday is worth 10 votes in November. What a deal!

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