Latest Re-Write Central spoof nails #4 spot out 55,000,000 returns on Google

Hey kids,

Just to remind the small and twisted readership of the effectiveness of the Bludgeon & Skewer method, we did a Google search on the catch phrase "Re-Write Central" and discovered, lo and behold, that we are holding page one ranking at the number 4 spot out of 55,000,000 returns for our recent efforts from the 23rd of August! Are accolades and emails and cash falling from the sky? Of course not.

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1. Re-Write Central: Spider-Man 4 and 20000 Leagues | Atomic Popcorn

   The first of them being Spider-Man 4, a film that had been up in the air for awhile now, who's script is the first to get the rewrite treatment. ...
   www.atomicpopcorn.net/re-write-central-spider-man-4-and-20000-leagues/ - Cached - Similar -

2. Re-Write Central: Spider-Man 4 and 20000 Leagues - Movies

   Re-Write Central: Spider-Man 4 and 20000 Leagues - First writers aren't cutting it for these films. It appears that all sorts of scribes are getting some ...
   showhype.com/.../re_write_central_spider_man_4_and_20_000_leagues/ - Cached - Similar -

3. Re-Write Central: Spider-Man 4 and 20000 Leagues - Spider-Man 4 ...

   Jul 8, 2009 ... Re-Write Central: Spider-Man 4 and 20000 Leagues - First writers aren't cutting it for these films. It appears that all sorts of scribes are ...
   movieblips.dailyradar.com/.../re_write_central_spider_man_4_and_20_000_leagues/ - Cached - Similar -

4. Re-Write Central: OFA discovers find 90% it's supporters refuse to ...

   An expanding collection of low budget/no budget political attack ads and fundraising concepts for the Libertarian Party. Take a look at the work we recently ...
   sites.google.com/.../re-write-central-organizing-for-america-can-t-find-90-of-it-s-supporters - 15 hours ago - Similar -

5. Re: write Central European characters in templates: msg#00126 mail ...

   Previous by Thread: Re: write Central European characters in templatesi: 00126, Roland Burger. Next by Thread: Re: write Central European characters in ...
   osdir.com/ml/mail.the-bat.user/2004-07/msg00126.html - Similar -

6. Re-Write Central: Spider-Man 4 and 20000 Leagues

   Re-Write Central: Spider-Man 4 and 20000 Leagues. 8 July 2009 4:08 PM, PDT | From Atomic Popcorn | See recent Atomic Popcorn news ...
   www.imdb.com/news/ni0869586/ - Cached - Similar -

7. Official Google Webmaster Central Blog: Dynamic URLs vs. static URLs

   Google Webmaster Central Blog - Official news on crawling and indexing sites for the Google ..... I would simply prefer to rewrite my dynamic URLs in to, ...
   googlewebmastercentral.blogspot.com/.../dynamic-urls-vs-static-urls.html - Cached - Similar -

8. Tax Law Rewrite draws to a close :: WhitehallPages.net :: News ...

   News & central government job vacancies: ... After 13 years of activity, the HM Revenue & Customs (HMRC) Tax Law Rewrite Project is to end next year. ...
   www.whitehallpages.net/modules.php?op... - Cached - Similar -

9. MATLAB Central - Newsreader - Rewrite csv-file

   file exchange and newsgroup access for the MATLAB and Simulink user community.
   www.mathworks.it/matlabcentral/newsreader/view.../238990 - Cached - Similar -

10. Re: write Central European characters in templates

    Re: write Central European characters in templates. Roland Burger Sat, 03 Jul 2004 10:38:40 -0700. Hi Cyrille, on Saturday, July 3, 2004 at 19:05 you wrote ...
    www.mail-archive.com/tbudl@thebat.dutaint.../msg74128.html - Cached - Similar -

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Re-Write Central: OFA discovers find 90% it's supporters refuse to return thier calls or emails!

Hey kids,

Sure, you think it's a slow day and all of a sudden the brain trust over at WaPo publishes a puff piece on the mighty, mighty OFA titled "Grass-Roots Battle Tests the Obama Movement" by a cat named Eli Slaslow. Ya'll remember OFA don't you? That was the 13 or 14 million volunteers that flocked to Rockin' Barry O's banner last year during the general election, the guys and gals that were gonna be the vanguard of the perpetual progressive revolution that was going to remake and change America for the better. The core concept was that they represented the most dedicated of today's progressive movement and would magically appear whenever their master tweeted or sent a one line email requiring their presence to assist in furthering his leftist/progressive/statist/looney tune agenda. Guess what, Presbo sent out the call and almost 1.3 million of this vast horde responded, meaning that 11.7 million to 12.7 million of them could not be bothered. Hard core, baby, Hard core.

So, as per SOP, we've decided to re-write the WaPo puff piece and are proud to present:

OFA Zeppelin Runs Out of Gas and People!
Obama supporters try to walk and chew gum at the same time!

By: Tanstaafl
Bludgeon&Skewer Agi-Prop Unit
Sunday, 23 AUG 09

Speeding down an unfamiliar highway at 70mph in a rental car, tanked to the gills on caffine, texting like a madman and screaming "I'm on the verge, baby, I'm on the verge!" J. Bird, one of the Deputy Director's over at OAF, er ... OFA, turned to look at his companion clutching the dash in terror. "I'm Livin' on the edge!" screams J Bird in his best Steve Perry voice, his head thrashing back and forth in proper Big Hair Rock fashion and narrowly avoiding side swiping a semi truck on the downbeat.

And so it goes for the remnant staff of the OAF, er... OFA. Mothballed shortly after the election, the organization is struggling to breathe life into it's membership once more and usher in the return of the Hopey Changey Thingy that won the 2008 election cycle. It's impressive legions scattered to the winds by indifference, it's paid staff sacked after the conclusion of the election, the few hangers on that survived the post election purges are being called on once more to sell the American public on the dubious proposition that is Obamacare. And like the greyhounds at race tracks in Florida and New Jersey, but not in the great State of Georgia, they have responded to the bell and are pounding down the track in pursuit of Sparky the rabbit in the guise of the "Public Option", what ever that turns out to be.

Arriving at their destination in Racine, Wisconsin, J Bird and the sole surviving paid staff guy in Wisconsin, a dude named Dan "The Don" Grandone, sat down on the curb in front the Cup Of Hope coffee shop to collude with the last 10 members of OAF, er... OFA, still willing to admit it. "We need to flex our muscles on this and act fast, really fast, really, really fast because there's only a tiny sliver of a window to get an unwritten unread bill through the Senate before even more Americans come to their senses" J Bird rattled off in a staccato fashion "The whole reason I'm here is to rally what's left of the troops and tell them they are important, make them think they can influence events if they do what we tell them to when we tell them to. I don't have time for any sort of genuine grass roots thing. We need some freakin' astro turf laid and laid now! Get out there and make the support magically appear like we did last year!"

The rest of the tiny group huddled on the curb and looked longingly at the people actually seated in the the Cup O Hope coffee shop actually having coffee. The standard litany of excuses began to be offered, you know, membership is stagnant right now because unemployment in Wisconsin is at 23% or something, people that ain't got no jobs have to spend their time looking for free food or free housing and so they don't got no time for volunteer work, the stinking right wing biased Main Stream Media have focused all the coverage on those rowdy republicans at the unscripted town halls at the first of August and now that we've been able to squash the public dissent by having rules and pointing video camera's at them and making them write their questions down on cards and stuff, those bastards won't give us any facetime because we're, well, because we're so freakin' boring repeating the OAF approved talking points, and well, the race card just isn't what it used to be.

J Bird rose to his feet and began to lecture the pathetic remnant of a once mighty organization "look, I know there used to be 44 field offices here in Wisconsin and those offices had coffee pots and clean restrooms and unlimited internet. I know that the Obama Campaign had 100 full time staffers here in Wisconsin back then and Dan here is the last man standing today. That was then, this is now. I know a lot of you thought there was a future in politics, but only the best get the full time gigs like me. I've got 13 million email addresses in my pocket! 13 million ardent supporters! 13 million believers who promised to man the barricades if those uppity conservatives so much as squeaked! Do you know that 150,000 of our 13 million strong army gave almost $38 each to fund this effort? That's almost $5.7 million dollars! I know that sounds like a lot, but it'll only buy a limited run of our two pro Obama Care TV commercials in the top 12 markets for 8 days! The President himself spent almost an hour showing us the PowerPoint presentation! It's not enough to turn the tide and where are we now? In freakin' Racine freakin' Wisconsin begging the 10 of you to turn pull a miracle out of you hat. Can You Do It?!"

The group rose in unison and shouted in unison "Yes we can!"

J bird smiled quietly to himself as he realized his work in Racine was done. Turning to his wingman, he nodded to the waiting rental car and jumped into the drivers seat, deployed the Blackberry and texting furiously, sped off to the next corner of Wisconsin to meet with the second largest group of OAF, er ... OFA supporters over in Fond du Lac, a retired school teacher and her nephew.






OK, if you want to read the story that WaPo pushed out, head over there and read it for yourself. Along the way be sure to click on a political ad or two, every time you click cash shows up magically in the adsense box and the ad sponsor has to pay. If enough of you do that, you can put a big financial hit on your least favored political party or candidate. Think of it as sort of a cellular revolt. Hit 'em where it hurts!

Astroturf, Baby, Astroturf.

Pajamas Media attempted comment 21 AUG 09

Holy Cow,

Victor Davis Hansen has an article up over at Pajamas Media trying to help out Rockin' Barry O with this health care mess. It's a good read so head over and check it out. Also, while you're here you can click on any political ad on the site or any where else you see one and cost the sponsor some of their hard won campaign cash! Don't care for the OX? Click his ad. Don't care for King Roy? click his ad. This political revolution stuff is fun!

Your comment is awaiting moderation.

Greetings All,

I note with interest a recurring theme on this comment trail and others about the need for a third party to surface in time for the 2010 election cycle. I must point out that there is already a national third party, the Libertarian Party, it is organized (somewhat) it is staffed (bare bones) it is not funded by special/narrow/self interested parties that expect an ROI on their investments of 1000%. It is a party composed of Americans of all stripes that has a simple message of lower taxes, smaller government and more liberty.

So if any of you would be interested in tossing a monkey wrench into the gears of government, when you’re standing in the voting booth in the fall of 2010, look for the candidates with an L beside their name. You can be sure that nobody owns them and that they are there for a whole different set of reasons than their republican or democrat competitors.

Aug 21, 2009 - 4:15 pm

Politico Comment 19 AUG 09

Hey Kids,

Looks like the left-o-sphere is not happy with Rockin' Barry O. Join the crowd and say something disrespectful over at Politico. Ridicule is easy!

Greetings All,

We're in a state of shock over here at the secret underground Libertarian Command Center (LCC) at the news that Jon Stewart has outed Rockin" Barry O as a member of the Jedi Order. We've got a couple Jedi Knights on staff and a herd of Padawan learners that assure the rest of us that they've never seen him at any of the regular meetings or the conventions. Maybe he was wearing that Joker facepaint as a cover. Jon couldn't be mistaken, could he?

You know you've stepped in it when your personal cheer leading staff starts dissing you and implying that you don't have sufficient intestinal fortitude or testicularity to push the public option over the goal line. When guys and gals like the mighty Olbermann, Mr. "I know Nothing" Shultze and the fetching Rachel Maddow start crawling up your backside about selling out the public option, it's time to move the stepladder.

The question is, where the hell do you move it to? If this whole health care thingy was such a freakin' winner both our Republican and Democratic brothers would be all over it and clamoring for all the credit. That does not appear to be the case and it sure has been easy for a bunch of punkin' heads like us to orchestrate the nationwide town hall mini riots like Barney Frank's recent event where he disclosed that he spends a lot of time in conversation with his kitchen table. All you gotta do is say there's gonna be one and voila, instant agitated crowds complete with their own signs!

How will this thing play out? The giant Elect-O-Tron mainframe computer in the basement level predicts the whole thing will be a wash. No public option, no health care co-opts, mandatory insurance for people who don't need it, no insurance for people who do and a booming organ donor business supplying Chinese and Indian millionaires with fresh kidneys, livers and other tasty bits.

When you've got two parties in control of the government that are really the same party, nothing much happens except that your taxes go up and your liberty goes down. So get ready for more of the same from the sad sacks that currently rule the roost up there in DC. And when you step into the voting booth next fall, look for candidates with an L next to their name and vote LIBERTARIAN.

Comment at Jason Pye 19 AUG 09

Howdy Y'all,

Jason Pye has a article running over at his place titled "Libertarians Drifting back towards Republicans?" from the guys and gals over at the Cato Institute. Just had to beat that dead horse.


Greetings all,

A better description for the article's title might be "Are Independents fleeing the scene". It is indisputable that self described "independent" voters put Rockin' Barry O in the saddle in the last election and have stampeded around the country with him in response to one crisis after another. The crisis du jour, health care, seems to have pushed a sizable percentage of them out of the committed to change column and into the "what have we done?" category. Will these same independents climb back aboard the shattered wreck that is the current Republican party or will they look elsewhere for a voice?

The concept of throwing the current crop of elected officials out on their keisters is near and dear to my way of thinking but due to the current restrictions placed on third party candidates here in Georgia and elsewhere in the nation, just who could get on the ballot that wasn't a Republican or Democrat hack? Georgians will have a Libertarian choice in the Governors race in 2010, but as far as the Georgia House and Senate goes, don't expect anything different from the 2008 election cycle. Somewhere around 60 Democrats and 80 Republicans will run unopposed and be reelected and the whole mess will begin anew.

So what can the the gruntled and disgruntled citizens of Georgia do to affect this never ending cycle of dishonesty and corruption? How can average guys and gals take meaningful action and make their discontent known to the unresponsive leaders of the Democrat and Republican parties?

You can smack your elected representatives in the face with something they do understand. Your vote. Here in Georgia, we'll be electing a new Governor next year and if you really want to shake the established political parties up, vote for John Monds for Governor of Georgia.

Town Hall Comment at AJC Political Insider 10 AUG 09

Hey Kids,

Pappa Joe at the AJC says there's gonna be 20 cops at Hank Johnson's Town Hall tonite. That should cut down on the skulduggery in the parking lot over there in Clarkston. Had to comment, see you there!

TANSTAAFL

August 10th, 2009
6:12 pm

Welcome back Mr. Galloway,

I trust your fishing expedition was successful and whatever you caught will be able to grow in length and girth as time passes.

We have to admit the current outbreaks of civil disbelief and naughtiness at Town Hall’s around the country have caught us flat footed over here at the secret underground Libertarian Command Center (LCC). We had considered holding a small “Tail Gate for Liberty” Party in the parking lot over at Georgia Perimeter College to help celebrate Rep. Johnson’s town hall tonight, but it seems that a permit is required and that costs money and you have to fill out forms and stuff like that.

Then one of our media sleuths pointed out the post over at Blog for Democracy that you mentioned and we were taken aback by the deviousness of some of our democratic brothers in their suggestions of methods to control the event, intimidate the citizens and deny the people their voice. The bit about turning off the AC was classic. Nothing like a couple of hundred hot, sweaty, thirsty constituents crowded into a stifling auditorium to listen to a member of the US House drone on endlessly to promote good feelings all around.

So we have decided to dispatch a micro mobile polling group to the event tonight to try to get a feel for the mood over there in the 4th district. We’ll ask a couple of yes/no questions, get a gauge of the feelings of the crowd, do an informal nose count of citizens denied entry to the steaming hot auditorium and get some cell phone vids of anything interesting. If any of your readership plans on attending as an agitator for either side, please talk to the guys wearing Joker Facepaint to be sure your story gets told.

All of this would be unnecessary if Georgia’s 1934 Jim Crow ballot access laws were revoked/rescinded/repealed or if the current Secretary of State bothered to read Title 10 and Title 21 of the Official Code of Georgia. As long as the Republicans and Democrats have a lock on ballot access, they will continue to treat all Georgians with disdain and disrespect.

So, see you at the Town Hall parking lot tonight! Support the Constitution, Defend the Republic, Vote Libertarian!

Comment at American Spectator ref Ben Stein 10 AUG 09

Hey kids,

Did you know that Ben Stein got booted off his column over at the New York Times for talking bad about Rockin' Barry O? Neither did I, but he says he did in a recent piece over at American Spectator. I couldn't help but invite him over to join the crew here at Bludgeon & Skewer for the occasional guest shot if he is inclined.
To wit:

Mr. Stein,

We're shocked, shocked I tell you, that the management of the Grey Lady saw fit to march you off the gangplank to placate one or two of their readers/shareholders/White House occupants. It's especially hilarious that anyone associated with managing that teetering wreck of a newspaper can even spell "conflict of interest" much less use it in a complete sentence.

Here at Bludgeon & Skewer we have enjoyed your work for some time and we extend to you an open invitation to join us if you have something to say and nothing better to do. The pay is nonexistent, the readership microscopic and thus the freedom to say what you think is astronomical.

So continue to write where you will and what you will. We will continue to enjoy your work.


So head over and join the fun, leave a comment or two and as always, click on any political ad you see here or there or anywhere.

More to follow from your friendly neighborhood Libertarian Community Organizers!

Swear to God it wasn't us! Joker Poster Comment 4 AUG 09

Great googlimoogly!

You know, you play around with some insulting tea party posters and all of a sudden you're on the short list of suspects when some other dim witted bozo knocks out a neat piece of agi-prop and has the temerity to stick a few of them up on assorted telephone poles in L.A and then Atlanta. Let me be very clear about this, Bludgeon & Skewer had absolutely nothing to do with the Obama Joker Poster. You can tell by the fact that it does not include simple things like "Support the Consitution" or "Defend the Republic" or "Vote Libertarian"

Now that that's cleared up, I think the Joker poster is a classic use of a pop culture icon with incredible mnenomics. The image is arresting and sparks waves of associations in the brain, everybody knows the Joker. Everybody knows Rockin' Barry O. And now, courtesy of a artfully done image, millions of Americans have that ticking time bomb of association lodged deep inside their heads. The more people that see it, the more people talk or write about it, the deeper the association becomes until by the middle of next week we'll be inundated by waves of Obama images from the archives of the Evil Marvel Universe.

COOL!

Ok, just to prove that we didn't publish the Joker, here is some of the work we do claim. Here are some of our tea party posters that made the Rachel Maddow Show way back last spring.