Big News Kids,Clad in his signature question mark ensemble, Undecided trounced both current SecState Brian Kemp and Candidate Brian McGinnite in the latest Insider Advantage poll by a whopping 79%. Undecided has run an asymmetric campaign thus far, eschewing any media or voter contact as he heads into the impending primary with an almost insurmountable lead. He's also way ahead in the republican insurance commissioner race with 57% of respondents favoring him over the other 6 human candidates competing for the privilege of representing the republican brand this fall.
How does this enigma do it? What are his secrets to polling and political success? How can a unfunded, totally unstaffed concept consistently out perform all of it's competitor's in Georgia politics for these two state wide offices?
Unnamed sources indicate that part of his success is the fact that he doesn't really exist. "You don't have to worry about Undecided cheating on his wife or selling the citizens down the river for a handful of shiny coins" Unnamed said, "Hell, he hasn't even got pants pockets, much less pants" Confidential Sources chimed in with an equally astute observation, "That's exactly right, that's why people trust him not to screw them over at the first opportunity. Electing Undecided means you never have to say you're sorry, or even admit you voted for him. That's powerful stuff."
And so the Undecided Juggernaut continues to steamroll to victory this republican primary season. Taunting his opponents with the total lack of unearned media, flaunting the fact that he has no radio ads, no TV ads and absolutely no sock puppets operating in the blog-o-sphere while glorying in his astronomical name recognition, Undecided leads the way!
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